Sunday, July 20, 2014

Liebster Award

I know what you're all thinking. "WOW! Two updates in seven days. THIS IS AMAZING."

Okay, so maybe that's not what you're thinking. But, in Rachel's Blogger World, it is (so, just pretend for me, alright?). My friend, Stephanie, over at Blessed to Be, is forcing me to do this nominated me for a Liebster Award, where she poses questions and I answer them. So, here we go!

1.) Why do you blog?
Hmm...this is a tough one. I happen to be one of the funniest people I know and regularly tell those who will listen (AKA everyone around me) that I should have my own reality show. It would be the most watched show in the history of ever. For. Real. Okay, seriously, I blog because a wise friend *cough cough Stephanie* put the idea in my head. Really! She suggested starting a blog where I can talk about those things that are important to me, like my faith, family, and friends. And cupcakes. Always cupcakes.

2.) What is your favorite smell?
My favorite smell? I have no idea! I really like the perfume I have right now. It's Georgio Armani's Acqua di Gioia. To me, it smells like happiness. And sunshine. And cleanliness.

3.) What would you have as your last meal? Include appetizer, main course, and dessert.
Appetizer: rolls and BBQ sauce from Corky's
Main Course: Nonni's spaghetti sauce with penne and meatballs (and cherry peppers)
Dessert: Pumpkin Spice Latte cupcakes (they taste like fall-y yumminess).
Now that I look at these three, they don't really go together and probably wouldn't taste great one after the other. But they're three of my favorite foods and it would be my last meal, so I can go with whatever I want.

4.) If you could master any skill overnight, what would it be?
Another tough one! Any skill?? It would probably be...becoming a wizard. Seriously. I'm still waiting on my Hogwarts letter to arrive (the owl must have been lost for the past 15 years, right?)

A real skill though? Being more crafty. I can handle making cupcakes and crocheting. But those really cute pins on Pinterest where people are making adorable decorations for their house? Yeah, I want to be able to do that. I'm just not crafty. Like at all. Even a little bit. I can picture it in my mind, but that's about it.

5.) Who's your favorite Disney character?
BELLE. This question was easy. Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie. I mean, Belle loves to read, sing, and she gets to have conversations with household items. Except for her, they talk back. The coffee pot will respond to my questions one day.

6.) What movie did you most recently watch?
Restless Heart: The Confessions of Augustine. Catholic Nerd Alert!! 

7.) What song are you currently listening to on repeat?
Wolf Bite by Owl City. His music just makes me happy. And want to have a dance party, which happens on the regular around here.

8.) Cupcake or slice of pie?
Do I need to answer this? It's in my blog name! Cupcake, of course. I'm going to make Butterbeer Cupcakes soon.

9.) If you could have an miniaturized animal as a pet, what would you pick? (For example, John tells me he wants a mini-bear.)
Ohhh...a miniaturized animal? Probably...a Siberian Tiger. That would just be the best, provided it didn't, you know, try and eat me.

10.) If you just found out company was coming over in a few hours, what dish would you whip up for them?
My Nonni's spaghetti sauce and meatballs. My mouth is watering just thinking of that sauce.

11.) Summarize yourself in 4 words. GO!
Compassionate, Funny, Catholic, HarryPotterNerd

There you go! My first Liebster post. That was stressful. I'm going to go eat a cupcake now.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Am I enough?

This question has been floating around in my mind for the past month. Over the last few months, I made the bold decision to leave a job I love sooner than I intended to do something I thought I wouldn't get to do until 2015 - teach. That's right, I am officially a teacher.

Okay, so not really officially, yet. I will be doing intern teaching this fall in place of student teaching. Basically, the fall semester will be my "student teaching" semester and then in January, I will be on my own - with no supervisor from my university. Scary, right? So, over the past month, I have left my old job. This job will always hold a special place in my heart. I worked with the best possible people, made some amazing new friends, and learned so much about myself. As I stated in my Facebook status, each person I encountered pushed me to become a better me and inspired me beyond anything I could have possibly imagined. While preparing to leave this job (and yes, I did crying every so often), I was taking class, meeting with my new principal and attending in-service, and trying not to freak out.

So I didn't really succeed on the "not freaking out" thing. In fact, I just had a minor breakdown in front of my mother (God bless her), complete with my (mostly silent) hysterics of "I don't know. I can't do this. What was I thinking?" She saw my face and was patient, as mothers tend to be, and reminded me that I know more than I think I do and that I can do this. I am more than capable of writing lesson plans, being creative with activities, and teaching my students.

Will I be a perfect first-year teacher? Nope. That doesn't exist.

Will I make mistakes and have some bumps along the way? Absolutely. Even seasoned teachers do.

Will there be days that I want to go home and cry? Duh. (Not surprising. I cry at almost anything).

Will there be times that I am inspired and surprised by my students? A resounding yes.

Will I be enough for my students? Yes.

Will I be enough for myself? Again, yes.

Because I am enough for Him. Our loving Father placed me at this school. He led me to this position. Through much prayer and some ranting, He listened to my heart and He knew, not what I wanted, but what I needed. I prayed for God to lead me to the right position and if that happened after student teaching, I was ready to accept those months without an income. I was preparing for that possibility. And then one day, I received an email about a possible position. I met with the principal and immediately fell in love with the school. The school is a Catholic school and really embraces that identity. There is weekly Mass, monthly Rosary and Adoration, and a Saint of the Day lesson. I have never before been to a school where the Catholic identity is that prevalent. And I love it. This position will push me to become the best teacher possible for my students. I will be outside of my comfort zone, but I am embracing that and I look forward to it with such excitement. God knew that this school was the right place for me to grow in both my faith and my experience. Turns out, this is both what I wanted AND what I needed. Funny how God answered this prayer with BOTH.

Through this, God has shown me that I am enough for Him. Despite my critical inner monologue about my failure because I didn't accomplish a, b, or c today, I am not a failure. Rather, I am His success, a some times messy success (I am human, after all). I may be a mess some times, but I am His mess. His wonderful, beautiful, crazy mess.

I am enough. Because I am His.

And now I am going to go wipe these tears off my face.